Here's something I wish I knew before I was 30 (or even 20)
Intro
Even though I don't have too many regrets in life (I do have some,) there are certain things that I wish I knew before I was 30... Or even 20.
Let me give you a quick background for those who don't know me. I was born in Italy and lived there until I was 19. I used to play punk rock, I had a mohawk, and I lived on "the edge." Then I packed one suitcase and my bass guitar and moved to Canada to build a new life for myself. I went to college, then university. In the meantime, I DJed, raved, promoted events, and burned myself out once more.
Then at 27, I fell in love with self-improvement, and eventually, I got into entrepreneurship which led me to live my dream lifestyle in a relatively short time.
So why did it happen all at once? What did I find out?
1. The world is not fair
“Fair” is a concept that humans invented. Think about carnivore animals. They are constantly eating other animals, yet, that doesn’t make them bad… or good. So instead of judging every situation, first figure out if it's in your control or not. Then, if it is in your control, do something about it. If it's not, move on. Your time is better spent doing anything else. No amount of anger or disappointment will change something that is out of your control.
2. As much as you may not like how "unfair" the world is, realize that it's 100 times more fair now than it ever was.
Nowadays, we have many problems: income disparity, war, disease, pollution, lack of support for those in need, and more. We can talk about all of them, and we should try to address all those problems. But while you are fighting to make the world a better place, remind yourself that the world used to be a complete disaster not even 100 years ago. There were no medicines, skipping meals for days was the norm, and wars were rampant everywhere. So stand up and make your voice heard, but don't lose perspective.
3. There is no black or white. Instead, there are countless shades of gray.
Most things are neither good nor bad, empty nor full, black nor white. There are just a million shades that are made up of countless variables. Don't judge people or circumstances on the spot. If you are serious about understanding a certain person or event, take your time to dig deeper and don't make any assumptions.
4. Labels stop you from using your own mind.
Labels are a great way to simplify your thinking when you don't have time to think. I.e., you need to quickly make up your mind about what to eat after a gym session. Your friend gives you two options: Chipotle or Taco Bell. You could pull up Taco Bell's menu to see if they have added any healthy options to their menu, but it's probably faster to label it as unhealthy and opt for Chipotle right away. But aside from trivial choices, you should always use your inquisitive mind to find out the truth on your own.
5. Mistakes are good. But try to only make the same mistake once.
Don't be afraid of making mistakes. That's the only way you can get instant feedback about what works and what doesn't. In advertising, we run tests with many ads to see which of them perform best. The majority of those ads perform like crap (aka. they are mistakes,) but it's only because of those mistakes that we know what actually works. Not all situations allow for mistakes, though. For example, if you are about to skydive, you probably don't want to risk making a mistake, or it will be your last one!
6. You can learn from anyone: "good" or "bad" people
Most people will only learn from those they know and trust. And that's the right mentality when you are young and living at home. But when you are out in the real world, you don't have the luxury of picking and choosing your lessons. Keep an open mind and always ask yourself, “what can I take away from this situation.” You don’t have to agree with everything you see. Use your analytical mind to discern the good from the bad. Discard the bad, keep the good.
And don’t forget that you can also learn what NOT to do from people…
7. Money is not evil. On the contrary, you need it if you want to do more good than you are doing right now.
Money will amplify your character. Lots of money in the wrong hands can be a problem. But if you are a good person, you will use it to do good things. For example, my ultimate goal with my company has always been to launch free business incubators and help Italian youth in underdeveloped areas make money with their local resources (all Made in Italy products.) But who's going to pay for staff, rent the office and promote the programs? If I don't make a significant amount of money upfront, this plan will just be a dream.
Money’s not good or bad. It acts like a megaphone for those who use it.
8. Don't stress over things that are out of your control.
There are things worth spending time on, while others would be better left untouched. So how do you know what to focus on? It's simple. Ask yourself, "what can I do about it in the meantime?" If the answer is "nothing," you stressing over it will only make you feel miserable. Learn how to let go of things that are out of your control and use your extra time to make an impact on what you can change today.
Read this: Making Good Decisions: A foolproof system
9. Life could be short, but it's likely going to be long, so adopt a marathon mindset.
Unfortunately, I lost a few friends and acquaintances between the ages of 16 and 26. But the vast majority of the people I know are still alive and kicking in their 30s, 40s, and 50s (even 80s!!!). So don't be in a rush. Plant your seeds, water them, and care for them daily, but don't obsess over how fast they grow. Things take time. Life is like a marathon. You must exert every effort at any given time, but you also need to detach yourself from expecting immediate results.
10. Aesthetics and good looks have their place in the world... and rightfully so.
Unfortunately, social media has ruined the essence of beauty and aesthetics. Most people are getting brainwashed with unrealistic beauty standards and image filters that make everyone look like a clone. But now, many of those that choose not to participate in this game of "find the difference" end up demonizing true aesthetics and beauty. It's OK to want to look your best. It's ok to want to look healthier, stronger, leaner, and more relaxed. It's in our DNA to seek balance and harmony. Look for beauty in art and in your everyday life.
Bonus...
11. Even when you think you know enough, your life will remind you that you're always going to be a noob.
Did you get a degree or even a Ph.D.? That's great! Keep learning. The world has never been more complex than it is now. It doesn't matter how much you studied. There's so much more you don't know about yourself, the people around you, and the environment you live in. Albert Einstein put it beautifully when he said, “When you stop learning, you start dying.” Don't fall into that mental trap. You know a lot, but never enough.
Read this: How to Avoid Burnout as an Entrepreneur